Well it's that time of year again. Time for Hollyweird to collectively ignore the American moviegoing public and congratulate itself for a bunch of films that no one's ever heard of. Here are my predictions for the snorefest:
Best picture: King Kong. Oops! So sorry, the Academy didn't see fit to nominate this film, did they? So what are the nominations? Let's see: A movie about gay sheepherders (Brokeback Mountain), a movie about the evils of McCarthyism (Good Night and Good Luck) a film about Jewish athletes and good terrorists (Munich) another gay movie (Capote) and a movie about racism (Crash). Have we covered every one of Hollyweird's pet causes? Oh goody!
Crash doesn't stand a chance. It did too well at the box office. I didn't see any of the other crap, so your guess is as good as mine... On to Best Actor.
I really liked De Niro in Raging Bull, didn't you? Now that was acting. I guess we'll just have to settle for this year's crop, though. The nominees are Philip Seymour Hoffman, Capote; Terrence Howard, Hustle & Flow; Heath Ledger, Brokeback Mountain; Joaquin Phoenix, Walk the Line and David Strathairn, Good Night, And Good Luck. The only one I even recognize is Joaqin Phoenix, and that's cause I saw him on Letterman once. He's out, though. Johnny Cash was a very religious man (although you'd never know this from the screenplay of Walk the Line--all references to his spirituality were stripped away). The on screen portrayal of a religious country singer doesn't stand a chance in Hollyweird up against the likes of two gay guys (Capote & Brokeback Mountain), a Pimp (Hustle & Flow) and a Crusading Journalist (Good Night and Good Luck). The winner? Like I said, I really like De Niro...On to best Actress.
Felicity Huffman plays a pre-op transsexual in Transamerica, therefore, she is the Best Actress. Period. This is Hollywood, people. Get over it. On to Best Original Screenplay.
Best Original Screenplay-you mean they actually pay people to write the scripts for movies that no one goes to see? On to other categories of interest...
Other Oscar Categories:
Achievement in music written for motion pictures -- who cares?
Achievement in sound editing--who cares?
Achievement in sound mixing--who cares?
Achievement in visual effects--who cares?
Achievement in art direction--who cares?
Achievement in cinematography--who cares?
Achievement in costume design--who cares?
Best documentary feature--who cares?
Best documentary short subject--who cares?
Best foreign language film of the year--WTF?!!
If you actually put the time in and watch this broadcast--I wish you well. Just remember, one more piece of interesting news that will make the show all the more complete (disaster-wise, that is)--John Stewart is hosting this year.